POSITIVE with PARKINSONS

       My foot x-ray didn't show a fracture so my family doc wrote a slip for me to get an MRI of my foot. I HATE those machines. I hope I don't have to go in the entire machine! I get claustrophobia.  Yesterday was the best physical day I have had since April 2018 when I first got sciatica. For some reason unbeknownst to me, my sciatica pain was so much less than it has been. I had a dentist appointment to get my teeth cleaned in the morning and the staff was shocked at how I could walk and was so happy, etc.  After my appointment, I called my sister and asked her if she waned to go shopping with me!  She said to me," your voice is different, you sound joyful!"   I picked her up and we went shopping! I spent about $500.00!  We bought clothes, shoes, baby stuff and more.  I had to buy a new pair of cheap sneakers a size larger because I have so much trouble shoving my swollen foot into my good sneakers. The sales were so good t...

        Today I had an appointment with my family doc because of my swollen foot. It is difficult for me to get my swollen foot into my loose sneakers!! My doc sent me for an x-ray of my foot.  He said it is swollen so I most likely have a stress fracture and they don't really show up on X-rays often. He called and said it didn't show a fracture so I have to go get an MRI of my foot! Gee, just what I need!! Another issue!! I really hope that I don't have to go into the machine and that I only have to put my foot into the machine!          The really wonderful and strange thing is that my sciatica is not that bad today!! My foot is killing me so maybe the Sciatica feels bad for me and is taking a day off! I DON'T KNOW WHY it doesn't hurt as much. Maybe it will get better and better! I am just so so so happy to have a break from the pain. I didn't even take my walker into the doctor's office this morning!  About halfway into the ...

        Everyday it seems as if Parkinson's and Sciatica rob me. It is a steady and gradual robbery.  Sometimes I don't know that they have taken something until I want to use it! I needed to get on Levodopa and I did.  I needed to see a neurologist and I did that, as a matter of fact I saw 3 of them! I kept hoping one of them would say I didn't have Parkinson's.  The meds definitely helped me move and control my body a little.  I had to increase from one tablet 3 times daily to one and a half tablets 3 times daily and I did that.  I needed to take PT and I did but it didn't help at all!  Someone on one of the Parkinson's group said that they did a certain exercise and it cured their Sciatica! I asked her to tell us the exercise because I will do it faithfully! I take 200 mg of Gabapentin 3 times daily but my Sciatica is still terrible! I needed to see a speech pathologist and I saw one for about 15 sessions!      We have...

        I had an extremely busy weekend and I think that is why my outward symptoms are SO SO SO noticeable!  I can barely walk! It is awful.  I got up twice during the night and I had to grab onto my walker to get to the bathroom. I have shower bars but no bars next to my toilet. It took me quite awhile to get up and go back to bed.  My leg throbbed and throbbed from sciatica, the worse it has ever been or the worst I remember. And my balance from Parkinson's is terrible today.  I keep banging into walls. It is just awful and painful.   My speech therapist came to my house this morning.  When she saw me hobbling to the door, she told me that I could have cancelled the session. I don't like to do that.  My pain is much less when I am not standing. But I have no balance even while sitting today. This is a first for me!        Friday afternoon Dan picked up a UHAUL to load up to take Olya to college.  I ...

           The other night I went to a meeting. I  hadn't been there for awhile due to pain from sciatica, being off balance from PD, and vacations!  Everyone kept telling me how good I looked, and truthfully I looked exactly the same. The ONLY difference was that I left my walker in the car. It got me wondering, how do I present to others when they see me?? Does using my walker make others feel sorry for me? What do they think when I shuffle so much? What do people think when my gait freezes and I am out somewhere??         My family treats me the same.  I like to be independent but Parkinson's  keeps robbing more and more of my independence. Quite honestly, I really wish my family helped me more because I am in pain everyday.  They don't like to hear that I can't do something because of Parkinson's and they don't like me to express that comment. It really hurts my feelings when they say that but I can...

                  Sometimes we get as much or more support online than in person.  And sometimes we just don't get to see our friends because they live far away or are busy!! And sometimes we have never met our online friends in person due to distance or busy schedules.  I have such wonderful online support from friends. I don't get to see my high school friend Diane much but she is such a supportive friend! The same thing with my friends Debbie and Donna, both live far away from me but they are supportive and caring.  And we have been together in person several times, I have been to both of their homes.  Bereaved parents share a bond that I just can't describe, it isn't something that can be defined with words from a dictionary. And my friend Vicki is always posting kind things online!  Some days when I am really down or in pain, I read their comments and it gives me strength for another day filled with pain....

      Leslie, Debbie, Priscilla, Donna, Kelly(my online friend), Mary, Joann, Roe, Adriana, Deb, Amy, Myra, Joni, Kathy, Madelyn            I think that people like to be with other people who are like them! I know that for me, I enjoy  being with other adoptive moms. I have a few adoptive mom friends and they  are really great people to be around.  My sister is also an adoptive mom so that is another strong bond. I also feel a strong connection with other bereaved parents, especially Debbie and Priscilla, because we definitely understand each other and "get it." My friend Donna is a bereaved mom  and an adoptive mom and we have a special friendship.  Leslie is my best friend from childhood! Who doesn't love  being with someone who knew you when you were a kid and shared special times together? When my kids were growing up,  I became friends with other moms with kids in that stage of life.  Jackie...

      When I was diagnosed with Parkinson's, all I could think about were the terrible things that were happening  and could happen to me physically. If there was any choice in the matter, I certainly would choose NOT to have PD.  Today I  am trying to focus on the positive because God knows there are plenty of things that are negative that stare me in the face everyday!   On a positive note, Parkinson's is not deadly for me now. I know that people can have difficulty swallowing and choke but I don't have that, at least for now. I can still live my life fairly normally on meds.  I can still drive and socialize.  Most people don't know I have PD when I am seated or sometimes even walking on a good day! You find out who your true friends are and all of my friends stayed loyal!! I am not a HUGE imposition on my husband. He just has to help me get out of chairs sometimes, especially camping chairs.  Parkinson's doesn't show on my face....

       My husband Dan always camps with his brother Larry and his wife Pennie.  Olya went for the week and Olivia, Frankie and I met up with them on Thursday.  Pennie and Larry's daughter Krista and family came for the weekend.  I told Sciatica and Parkinson's that there wasn't room in the car for them  but they squeezed in somewhere any way!   I had packed my suitcase the week before and Dan ad put it in the car for me so I only needed to gather a few things.   We packed up the car and I only shuffled a few times.  But Sciatica was front and center the entire time!  I took two Tylenol to dull the pain a bit. Sometimes the top of my foot gets numb, I think  that is from the spinal stenosis but it could be from Parkinson's or from both.  The top of my left foot stayed numb most of the trip but the bottom of my foot was fine. It is just annoying to drive with the tingling in my foot!  I don't want to stay...

       It's sort of stupid that I am writing about turning over in bed!  Every morning I wake up, force myself to open my eyes(I actually have t tell myself to do it or God knows how long I'd lay there with my eyes closed.) Then begins the process of getting out of bed!  I see where I am in the bed and then try to roll or scooch over towards the edge of the bed.  I can't get too close to the edge or I will really slide down the side!  I know that because it has happened!!  Then I get to the edge and try to reach for my walker. However, this seems easier said than done and it is!!Sometimes my leg is throbbing so badly that I can hardly move it and sometimes parts of my feet get numb so I can only walk baby steps. My feet don't want to move, they sort of freeze to the floor! Then I force myself to move forward bit by bit!  I am always hunched over in the morning when I get out of bed.  Several times I think about crawling to the bathr...

        Yesterday  I stayed home most of the day because my balance was off.  From the moment I got up, I had so much difficulty walking to the bathroom. I NEVER had my balance so off before.  If I had to walk a straight line for a cop, I would have failed the sobriety test!! My friend Leslie picked me up at noon for our lunch date. By then, my balance was a little better! I just figured, what the heck?? If I fall, I fall!  And I was pretty good walking. I got to ride in her Tesla!! She has such a cool car! I felt like I was in a space capsule!     Leslie just got back from a trip to Alaska!! She brought me a dish towel and POTATO CHIP candy bars! I loved both gifts but those candy bars are ssssoooooooooo delicious!!!!!           Leslie was telling me that her brother-in-law sells laser machines and he left one at her house for her to use because she has some hip discomfiture. She hasn't used it yet ...

     Dan tries to get me to go out almost everyday. I guess he thinks its good for my mental heath as well as a little exercise. I am always willing to go to visit my daughter Amy at the cemetery. We always have folding chairs in Dan's car.  After we sat there for awhile, we left and went to Walmart to return my bat remover which didn't work. Then we went to a Goodwill Store. I have been collecting beautiful Angels for Amy's grave site. I found this beautiful doll at the bottom of a pile of old dolls in a shopping cart. It is the Cinderella doll from the Franklin Mint Heirloom Doll Collection.  She looks so much like Amy so I purchased the doll and will take it to her grave this week.  Just typing that sentence made me cry.  No one ever gets over the loss of a beloved child, no matter how long.  I am sure the doll will be taken or stolen because most things we leave there are gone in a few days.  I just don't get people who s...