HOW DO we PRESENT to Others with Our PD SYMPTOMS??

           The other night I went to a meeting. I  hadn't been there for awhile due to pain from sciatica, being off balance from PD, and vacations!  Everyone kept telling me how good I looked, and truthfully I looked exactly the same. The ONLY difference was that I left my walker in the car. It got me wondering, how do I present to others when they see me?? Does using my walker make others feel sorry for me? What do they think when I shuffle so much? What do people think when my gait freezes and I am out somewhere?? 


       My family treats me the same.  I like to be independent but Parkinson's  keeps robbing more and more of my independence. Quite honestly, I really wish my family helped me more because I am in pain everyday.  They don't like to hear that I can't do something because of Parkinson's and they don't like me to express that comment. It really hurts my feelings when they say that but I can't stop them from saying it so I try not to use the word Parkinson's around them. My husband is pretty good about helping me when we go somewhere because he knows I can't get up or down from a chair.  He always gets me a shopping cart to lean on when we go into a store. But I have to do all of the outside work myself. My husband just says to call someone and pay for it but you can't call someone to trim and weed everyday. I have a battery powered trimmer that I use.  I sort of stay to the side of it because I don't want to fall into it if I feel off balance. I forget what it feels like to not be "off balance."  The weeds have won against Parkinson's!!!!  I try to keep the front of my house weed free but it is difficult! No one helps me with the  yard work.  My friend Diane and my friend Deb each gave e recipes to use to kill the weeds organically so I don't have to use RoundUp but I think I poured at least 40 bottles of the mixtures and I still have giant weeds.  It killed them off for a  bit but they all grew back and I gave up.  That is one main reason that I want to move so much. Today I cleaned out my linen closet. I have a lot of linens for Goodwill. I threw the stuff down the steps and then I had to get on the steps and push it all of the way down.  I packed some of them into Hefty plastic bags but I was so worn  out that I had to take a break.   I always feel  better when things are neat and organized!   When I am out with my friends , they always offer to help me, or pick me up, or walk me in or out of a restaurant.  People seem so much nicer to me when I do use my walker. Most hold the door open for me and don't rush me.  Sometimes I just tell them to go on because I am so slow moving but most wait patiently until I get through the door. But if I don't have my walker(and I try not to use it if possible), people are so annoyed that I move so slowly! I noticed that I am getting a bit forgetful. I left my credit card at Acme the other day. Fortunately, several of the people who work there know me so they called me  and held my card! One of the front desk employees worked in one of the school districts I worked in.
       Last night I looked at my feet.  Both feet are swollen as well as both ankles. They look so ugly! I wonder if that is Parkinson's related or not. I'll ask my doc next time I see him. I couldn't stop looking at them and hoping the swelling would subside but as of now, they are still fat, ugly and swollen!

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