My Friend Died

   

       It is with complete sadness that I write today's blog. It is very difficult to be positive about anything today.  My friend Roe died on Thur night. I am crying as I write this.  Roe was such a wonderful person. I miss her already.  She and I were friendly friends years ago when our kids were much younger.  We all belonged to a group of school moms and dads that hung around together.  Roe's husband Bert and my husband Dan were in Indian guides together and went camping, etc with a group of about ten dads and sons. Eventually we went our own way and I sort of lost contact with Roe.   Fast forward to Back to School Night about four years ago for Olivia and Olya when they were in high school.  One of the girls' teacher's was Mr. Locker, who had been in Indian Guides with his dad and Dan and Bert. He told Dan that he felt bad about what happened to Roe and Bert's son Steven.  He had recently died of a brain aneurysm. We didn't know anything about it.  I contacted Roe on Facebook. I didn't even know where she lived but she was still local.  We reconnected because of our shared grief. Roe's son Steven and my daughter Amy are buried at the same cemetery.  I hope there is room in the plot for Roe to be buried with Steven. Roe and I totally "got" each other.  We both lost young, healthy adults with no warning.  It is not easier or harder to lose a child with or without warning,  it is awful either way.
           We went to a bereavement group together and then I lead a group because I wanted Roe to go to one. The group we went to was from an article Dan read in the paper  but the group had to break into smaller groups because the group became too large.  Our group started with Six moms and we all became very close. One of the moms named our original group "The Twigs."  We said we were branched off from the larger group.  Other moms have come and gone in the group but the six of us always remained.  We also have a few new members.  Our last meeting was this past Wed.  Roe messaged us and said she couldn't come because she wasn't feeling well and was on a new round of antibiotics.  The week before she wanted to visit me because of my Parkinson's but she just didn't feel up to coming. I told her not to worry about it! Roe was religious and believed her son Steven was in Heaven and that she would see him one day.

I hope they are together now and that she also visited with my Amy. Roe's son Scott got married about two years ago.  I know how hard it is to shop when you are a bereaved mom.  I told her that I would go shopping for her mother of the groom dress if she wanted.  Or I offered to give her the dress I wore at Renee's wedding. She loved the dress I had worn and wanted to wear it. After what I paid for it, I wanted it to get worn again.  She came over and tried it on and it fit her perfectly and she looked so much better in it than I did.  I told her to keep the dress.  Roe looked like a princess that day.  Her hair looked beautiful and she looked so pretty in the dress.  Roe even sat Dan and I at the head table with her, I felt so special. Her son's wedding was lovely and Roe looked so beautiful and so happy at the wedding.  She adored her son Scott and really loved her new daughter-in-law Brandi.  Roe was a good person, friend, mom, and wife. I know she has two sisters who she was extremely close to and loved a great deal. And she adored her brothers too!
         I called a few of the Twigs moms and they were all so sad and found it totally unbelievable that she is gone, she was only 60.  I asked Adriana, one of the Twigs, to call a few moms and she said she'd be happy to do that.

Roe, curly haired blond, is on the left in the front

I am back to having to use my walker. It was a bad day today, I fell in front of the fireplace. Olivia came running up from the basement because she and Frankie heard the thud!(Big girl falling is noisy!!) I have felt shaky since I heard the news from Roe's husband. I didn't find out the news until this afternoon but I still had to use my walker all day.  I don't know why it is that I need my walker again.  I thought I was on my way to walking without it for good!