TIRED OF and WITH Parkinson's

     I am so tired of having Parkinson's and it is only a few months. I hate that I walk leaning forward and having to hold onto furniture and counters. I hate that I need to remember to take my meds or my symptoms will be more apparent.  I hate that I have to take a walker everywhere I go. And I hate that I have difficulty getting up and down off of furniture and out of bed in the morning!  I also hate that my gait freezes now and then and/or my entire body freezes and I feel like a stupid moron when it happens. I hate that I have to have a death grip on the banister when I go up and down stairs. I hate that my life is dependent on Parkinson's doctor and pain management doctor visits and PT.  I can't stand long and I hate that, I walk slowly and I can't stand that either. That all being said I now am so so, so sleepy and tired all of the time. I have fallen asleep sitting up and I was never even able to do that before.  And when I fall asleep during the day, I am in a deep, deep sleep very quickly.  I could just be sitting up watching TV or reading a magazine or chatting with my daughter and 1 2 3 , I am out! It is almost like I black out.  I don't know if that is a normal Parkinson's symptom or not. I am just tired of and with Parkinson's disease and it is only the very beginning of our relationship.
I always thought that the beginning of a relationship was the honeymoon period. I guess Parkinson's never got the memo on that!! I wish that Parkinson's and I could break up or divorce but I think we will be in a relationship for the rest of my life.

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