GRRRR Parkinson's Brain is SO FRUSTRATING!!

     I have always been proud of my brain and my knowledge! I easily did very well in school. I did well on tests and had a fabulous memory! I never found learning or remembering difficult at all!  I had great short term and long term recall. My body easily moved the way I wanted it to. I could make a plan, execute it quickly and be done with it. I could get up in the morning, shower, put on make-up, get dressed and be out the door in less than 30 minutes!!   Now I make a plan, have to really think it through, then it takes me three times as long because my movements are so slow.  I feel angry at my brain. I want my old brain back. I want my life back the way it was. I want to get out of bed and not have to stand there for a few minutes to gain my balance and to make sure I have feeling in my feet.  I want Parkinson's to take a hike and go away!! I want my memory back and I want to be able to move quickly and not to have sciatica pain.  Why, oh why, don't we appreciate good health until we don't have it??  I just HATE having Parkinson's.  I am trying to look at the positive parts of my life but some days are just so frustrating!!I try to tell myself that it isn't fatal and I am not in a wheelchair, and I can take care of myself , cook, feed myself, drive, and socialize.  And I can clean my house, even though I am slow doing all of these things, I can still do them. I don't have tremors(at least, not yet),and I don't have difficulty swallowing as of now.  But I know these things are quite likely in my future. I just don't ever want to be a burden on anyone.  


I am so glad that I have friends who are understanding and accept my slowness!!

Yesterdays Lunch Dates!!

I'm wearing Amy's Marvin the Martian Necklace!

 Yesterday when I had blood drawn, the phlebotomist called my name and I tried to get up from the chair. I had difficulty getting up and she looked at me and she said rather nastily  "didn't you hear me call your name?" I said I did, but I have Parkinson's and I have trouble moving quickly."  She looked at me like I had two heads. I didn't have a cane or walker with me. People seem so much more understanding when I use my walker.


 The other day when I had blood drawn, I saw a box for the Fabric of Our Community. There is going to be a huge wall display of fabric flowers made by fabric donations accompanied by a story of why the fabric is important or the story behind the fabric. I donated a pillowcase that had belonged to my daughter Amy  and two old dresses from Olya and Olivia.  These are the paragraphs I wrote to accompany the question of "What is the story behind this piece of Fabric?" 

      This pillow case was used by my deceased 18 year old daughter Amy when she went away to college at Penn State.  Amy was brilliant, sweet, kind, musical, beautiful,  gifted and had a heart of gold.  She loved being at Penn State University. Amy was a proud member of the Penn State University Equestrian Team.  She died shortly after finishing her freshman year at PSU. We are so happy and so proud to have had her as our daughter and will forever have  broken hearts to have to live the rest of our lives without her. The world was a brighter place with her sweet soul in it. 

       My youngest two daughters, Olivia age 22, and Olya, age 21, are Ukrainian American Irish twins!  They are 11 months apart making them Irish twins.  They were born in Ukraine and adopted by my husband and I, Olivia adopted at age 10 (in 2007)and two years later, Olya adopted at age 10.5(in 2009). They are non-biological sisters.  My girls LOVE clothes and they love to dance. Both of these fabrics are from dresses they wore to school dances! They are fabulous dancers and they loved to dress up and go to school dances and dances at ST Kevin’s in Springfield. Olivia is now a licensed and employed cosmetologist and Olya is a Junior at PSU majoring in Communications!