Today was my friend Roe's funeral. She died so quickly so it is hard for me to realize that she is really gone. We got to the church and I saw that all my bereaved mom friends from our daytime group were there. They are all such true blue loyal friends. MJ, Lisa, Jill, Susanne, Adriana, and Nancy were all there to show support for Roe and her family. I also saw people I knew from years ago who remained friendly with Roe. Jean came in with a walker and after chatting with her I learned that she also has Parkinson's, she was diagnosed three years ago. She sees the neurologist who I have an appointment with next week and said he was excellent. I barely needed my walker today. My chiropractor is amazing, he has almost totally relieved my sciatica which was so painful and I had almost a year. It was nice to see Roe's friends, Roe always talked fondly about her friend Angela who I knew years ago. It as nice to see her and chat with her. Roe had told me that Angela had always been there for her, and I was so glad that Roe had a friend like that. My friends from that original group of school moms who all met about 35 years ago, were definitely "not there" for Dan or I. They thought we should get over it and move on. It took me years to move forward, years and years, which is why I decided to run the bereaved moms group. Bereaved moms need to be together because ONLY we "get it." I joined a bereaved online chat room years ago. For years we chatted every night and it helped me to know that other people understood how I felt. And that is where I met my true blue friend Debbie. Debbie sent me a really nice card that I got in the mail today because she knows how hard it was for me to lose Roe. I really don't know what I would have done without Linda, Jackie and Nancy. They went above and beyond to be there for me and I will always appreciate that they did that for me. Linda died a few years ago and that was the first long time friend I had that died. I still miss Linda all of the time. Our daughters were best friends when they were little and Linda was always so kind to my Amy. Angela told me that she has some pictures of Amy from when she was little and will give them to me. I can't wait to see them. Father Colagreco, the priest who did Roe's service also did Amy's service many years ago. When he came to see me after Amy died, I was less than polite. I kept saying to him.....where was your God??? A few months later we went back to the same church because the funeral home we used had a Christmas memorial service for everyone who died that year and we went. It was a non-denominational service. 9/11 had recently happened and I still remember the minister who did the service. He had a picture that a little boy drew of a huge group of people standing on a cloud being held by God after their plane crashed into the Twin Towers. I still remember that picture and the impact it had on me. It was a joint service with Father Colageco and the minister. Father Colagreco saw me there and said that he was so happy to see me and that seeing me back in the church made his day. I told him not to get his bowels in an uproar, that I was only there because it had to do with Amy and still didn't want any part of his God. That day in the church, I looked at the pew I was sitting in and someone had carved the name Amy in the pew. That weirded me out. We had a service at the cemetery on the one year anniversary date for Amy and he came and I was sort of civil to him because the cemetery was packed with people for Amy. Dan had brought chairs, juice, coffee and donuts so people stayed and chatted, The cemetery workers were not happy but left us alone because they saw Father Colagreco with us and he spoke to them. Today when he gave the eulogy/homily, he kept looking at me because I was sitting near the front directly in his line of vision. He mentioned about Roe losing Steven four years ago and said...I just can't imagine how anyone loses a child, I just don't know how they go on. When I went up to receive Communion, he looked at me probably thinking, what is she going to do or say, but I just winked at him and he smiled! Maybe I should send him a note, that I am back in church, just NOT a Catholic church. I am so much more at ease at my Bible-based non-denominational church.
We went to the luncheon after the service. Roe was cremated and the burial will be private. Her husband told me that he was going to take her home for awhile first. It was very sweet the way he said it. This is the first funeral I have ever attended where everyone wasn't crying, I kept biting my lip not to cry but couldn't help myself when the songs were sung. I think Roe's family is super religious and truly and totally believes she is happy in heaven with her son. I am sure she would be a shoe in to get into heaven, she was just the sweetest person ever. When we were at the luncheon, we sat across from Bert's cousin. I found out that he use to teach at Upper Darby High school in the same department as one of my best friend Jackie's husband Bill. His name was Adam Slomiana, and he remembered Bill as a great history teacher! What can I say?? Six degrees of separation, I guess!
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