A Horse for Amy, Precious photos of Amy from an Old Friend

         Today I woke up and still felt really good! I have lost five pounds, which I really needed to lose. I didn't even really try to lose it. I think the death of my friend Roe has really affected me.  I also was having such a hard time with my Parkinson's and sciatica.  Maybe the combination of the three things helped me lose the weight.  5 down, 50 to go!! I cleaned my bedroom and got dressed and even used my flat iron, I don't usually bother. My problem is that my appetite is back full force!! Today was a use my walker all freaking day!  I started to wane about 3 pm.  I don't know why, maybe the weather but I had baby steps and the shuffling two and three step frozen gait.  I don't know why!  THERE IS NO RHYME OR REASON TO THIS DREADED DISEASE!  We went to the cemetery and I got out of the car but I had a hard time, then we went to the dollar store for me to get new hair brushes because my daughter Olivia keeps stealing mine!  I called her and asked her if she took my hairbrush and she said  "maybe!" Olivia is in MD at a Hair Show with her friends from Cosmetology School.  We gave her $300 because she wants to buy a new light weight hair dryer. We paid for the two day seminar and for the hotel in advance.


         My bestie Priscilla, also a bereaved mom, called me. Priscilla reads my blog and was so happy that I felt good yesterday and the day before.  We both love thrift shops and flea markets.  Priscilla wanted me to buy a wheeled transport chair so she could push me around in the stores or the flea markets. Right now, I don't need one! She was on her way home from a quilting weekend. She is so talented.  She is  making a quilt from her deceased daughter Krissy's clothes, actually she is making four quilts! I know how hard it must have been for her to cut up Krissy's clothes. I have only a few of Amy's clothes saved. Amy's clothes would be 18 years old and she would NEVER wear clothes that old. As I wrote that her clothes would be 18 years old, I had to catch my breath because Amy was 18 when she died and May 25 will be 18 years since she died. I miss her all of the time.  Tomorrow I am meeting an old friend for coffee.  She was at Roe's funeral, they were very good friends for over 35 years, I think.  Angela told me that she has some old photos of Amy.  They will be so precious to me if they are photos I have never seen before.

       I forget where I was when I saw the horse.  Amy LOVED horses so I got it for her.  She rode for years and won so many ribbons.  She even was on Penn State's Equestrian team.  Dan and I went and watched her in a few events.  She was just amazing!  She never really cared if she won or lost, she just wanted to be on a horse riding wherever! She so much wanted her own horse, she had about $3,000 saved towards buying a horse, I think it would have been her first purchase when she graduated from college and got a job. We weren't permitted to put horses on her headstone because there are rules in that cemetery.  We were permitted to put pegasus, flying horses on her headstone because they are in the Bible.  Amy would probably own a horse farm now and Dan and I would be living in an old shack on the farm to be there to help her!  I just plain miss her.  My friend Deb L made a video of our deceased children and set it to music Dan and I watched the entire video this morning and we both cried and cried.  Deb is amazing.  We all did a lantern launch at her house last Spring and she made a video of our kids.  The video is on my Facebook page and it is amazing. I tried to upload it here but it is too long to load. We are hoping she offers her house again because her backyard was PERFECT for the launch.  This year we want to start earlier and bring dinner and all eat together.  Last year, I think four of us, some husbands too, went to Deb's for the launch! It was a bittersweet night spent with good friends.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

June 2

Image
                June 2 is a very special day in our family.  It was the day that my beloved daughter Amy was born. I was so excited to have a beautiful little girl.  She was my most precious gift and that feeling has never changed.   Amy died at age 18.  After her death, life had no meaning for  us.  We just wen through the motions of living and existing because we still had to finish raising Renee, who was only 13 when Amy died. Dan had told me that friends of his, also bereaved parents, had adopted a little boy from Ukraine. I thought they were absolutely crazy.  Fast forward a few years and that tiny seed grew in my mind. Maybe it was Divine Intervention, I don't know,  but we decided to adopt from Ukraine.  I am so thankful to Ukraine for giving me two of their most precious gifts.  We must have been twice as crazy as his friends because we adopted not once, but TWICE!! We adopted Olivi...
Read more

Does My Family Really Understand My PD LIMITATIONS??

Image
        I was diagnosed with PD about a year and a half ago but I think I had it for close to a year before that. Once I got on the Carbidopa Leodopa, my life settled back into a "new normal" routine.   My painful Sciatica has always bothered me more than the PD. I don't have tremors, at least not yet. I think that is because I am in the early stages. I have a handicap license plate so I don't have to park as far away from an entrance as I use to have to park.  My husband is always willing to drop me off at the entrance if I don't want to walk as far.  But I try to do the walk so that I stay agile and my muscles don't freeze up too much.   My most noticeable trait is my slow, and shuffling gait.  I can still drive, totally take care of all of my personal needs, go out socially, travel, cook, etc.  I am scared when I have to go up a flight of stairs because I am off balance and I feel like I might fall backwards. I have a death ...
Read more

Akinetic-rigid Parkinson's Disease

Image
       My Parkinson's symptoms seem to be different almost everyday. Some days I am dog tired and other days I seem to have some energy.  It is difficult to make plans too far in advance because I never know what my Parkinson's will be like on any given day.  My worst Parkinson's symptoms are being off balance and overwhelmingly sleepy!!  I don't know if it is a Parkinson's symptom or  not but I now have such vivid and bizarre dreams! Perhaps it is the liquid medical marijuana that I take at night to help me sleep!! My sciatica,  however, seems to stay the same. It is just pain all of the time unless I take Tylenol or a muscle relaxer. I have spoken to several people who have Parkinson's and many also have sciatica. I asked the doc this morning and he said there is no corelation.   Today I saw a new neurologist at a city hospital.  He diagnosed me with Akinetic-rigid Parkinson's.  He told me that there are two diffe...
Read more