New Year, New questions for God
Hello Lord, it is Colleen again!
Thank you for these beautiful Amaryllis flowers. I am amazed at their beauty! I love watching their beauty unfold right before my eyes!
I am once again questioning things that happen in my life. Sometimes I wonder why You gave me a brain to question Your existence. I never questioned before , but when Amy died, the whole "after life" thing seems to not make much sense. I belong to a lot of bereaved mom/parent Facebook groups. They keep growing and that is so, so sad. Every time I see a parent post photos of their deceased child, I just get all weepy and emotional because I KNOW what they are feeling in their hearts and souls.
I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to be learning from the events in my life. I use to pray that I would get something I wanted. I prayed that friends and/or relatives would get better from sicknesses and/or that my family would stay healthy, etc. Whenever an ambulance drives by, I pray for the person in the ambulance and for their family. Now I pray that Your Will be done and I pray for my acceptance of Your will. That is NOT easy to do, especially when you have lost your healthy beautiful 18 year old daughter. I want to understand more. Many years ago, I remember watching a movie and Jim Carrey got to be You in BRUCE ALMIGHTY. I still remember him answering the requests he received online and him just typing in YES to everyone. However, how could he answer yes to everyone? Someone is praying for their family/loved ones to live and many are praying for a healthy organ from a donor body. I know there can always be a silver lining to things but I really want more understanding. Where do I go to find it? How could Donald Trump become our president and have the power and ability to hurt so many? I posted something on Facebook about how Trump evaded the draft, hides his tax returns, had extramarital sex, how the supposed "Christian" doesn't attend church, and how he hides his college grades and how he authorizes international assassinations without the approval of Congress. I don't think You want us to blindly accept when he hurts others. One woman did NOT like what I posted and responded that I should worry about my own sins. And I do that. Thank you to Hans and to Kelly for sticking up for me and backing me up. I have such wonderful online and in-life friends. Why didn't anyone stand up to Stalin and to Hitler when they were responsible for so many deaths? What do you want me to learn, Lord? I try to help others whenever possible. I send money to Olya's family in Ukraine because they are very poor. Dan always over tips because he says that he likes to make people feel good. I run a bereaved parent daytime group to help other bereaved moms. Please lead the way and I will do my best to follow.
Why do healthy children get sick, and why do so many young people die? Why are some people so selfish? Are psychic mediums real? Can anyone stop Trump and his evil ways? If Your will is being done, why do people pray for things they want? Why do good people suffer and why do bad people get away with crimes and get to live into old age? Sorry for so many questions, but you gave me this brain.
I don't question why I have Parkinson's Disease, that is just not that big a deal in the scheme of life. Some Parkinson's people say...why me? or Why did I get Parkinson's?It is but a drop of sadness in my world and it is OK. I don't like that I have it but it is manageable and I can live with it. There are meds like Carbidopa-Levodopa that make my life more manageable with PD. I would like to thank you for being patient and listening to all of my questions. Thank you for the family and friends in my life. Thank you for their health, love, and friendship.
I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to be learning from the events in my life. I use to pray that I would get something I wanted. I prayed that friends and/or relatives would get better from sicknesses and/or that my family would stay healthy, etc. Whenever an ambulance drives by, I pray for the person in the ambulance and for their family. Now I pray that Your Will be done and I pray for my acceptance of Your will. That is NOT easy to do, especially when you have lost your healthy beautiful 18 year old daughter. I want to understand more. Many years ago, I remember watching a movie and Jim Carrey got to be You in BRUCE ALMIGHTY. I still remember him answering the requests he received online and him just typing in YES to everyone. However, how could he answer yes to everyone? Someone is praying for their family/loved ones to live and many are praying for a healthy organ from a donor body. I know there can always be a silver lining to things but I really want more understanding. Where do I go to find it? How could Donald Trump become our president and have the power and ability to hurt so many? I posted something on Facebook about how Trump evaded the draft, hides his tax returns, had extramarital sex, how the supposed "Christian" doesn't attend church, and how he hides his college grades and how he authorizes international assassinations without the approval of Congress. I don't think You want us to blindly accept when he hurts others. One woman did NOT like what I posted and responded that I should worry about my own sins. And I do that. Thank you to Hans and to Kelly for sticking up for me and backing me up. I have such wonderful online and in-life friends. Why didn't anyone stand up to Stalin and to Hitler when they were responsible for so many deaths? What do you want me to learn, Lord? I try to help others whenever possible. I send money to Olya's family in Ukraine because they are very poor. Dan always over tips because he says that he likes to make people feel good. I run a bereaved parent daytime group to help other bereaved moms. Please lead the way and I will do my best to follow.
Why do healthy children get sick, and why do so many young people die? Why are some people so selfish? Are psychic mediums real? Can anyone stop Trump and his evil ways? If Your will is being done, why do people pray for things they want? Why do good people suffer and why do bad people get away with crimes and get to live into old age? Sorry for so many questions, but you gave me this brain.
Colleen, I feel your confusion and ask those type of questions everyday. I am not good at being a “blind” follower, I never was. I have been on a personal journey to really understand who/what God may be. I struggle believing that a living God who is all powerful would watch innocent people (his children) die senseless deaths...be it accidents, fires, floods, etc...
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, truly evil people are allowed to live and inflict their evil on the innocent. My thoughts run in so many directions on this issue. I admire your strength and positivity with the challenges that you face each day. Just know that you are not alone in asking “Why?” Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Luann
Thank you Luann. I wish we just KNEW for a fact that our daughters are OK in heaven. But then I ask myself...How can they be OK? They definitely don't have their bodies anymore. BUt still hoping that whatever their existence may be that they are not in any pain and/or distress and in peace.
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