Balloon Release and Medical Balloon

         Today I had planned to go to Drumming Class but I am in too much pain to even consider it.  I was going to drive Olivia to work but I let her take my car instead. Now I am home bound but I am in too much pain to consider going anywhere.  My in-home PT comes this afternoon. I think she will be shocked at my regression back into excruciating pain! I was really on an upward roll after my last steroid shot, it was the best I had felt in over a year.  My throbbing, aching pain has come back home to roost! Sometimes when I am writing my blog I tend to forget that others are going to read it!  I think I sound whiny,  so sorry about that but I am just trying to document my pain level so I can tell my pain management doctor when I see her in a few weeks. Last night at my bereaved parent meeting, my friend Kathy's husband Al told me that he also has painful sciatica and spinal stenosis. He is going to see a doctor that does a procedure, not surgery, where a balloon is inserted in one's back and it is done with a few incisions. I like the idea of NO surgery! He has an upcoming appointment  with the doctor to see if he is a candidate. I asked him to bring me some information after his visit.  I will have to ask in the online stenosis group if anyone has heard about this procedure. 

          Last night we had our balloon release at our bereaved parent meeting.

Amy lead the way.

It was sad and it was beautiful. 

Everyone wrote on their biodegradable balloons. I also taped a  Mass Card from Amy's funeral to her balloon.  I always thought that everyone in every denomination had Mass Cards but that isn't true.  Most people told me that they had pictures of their kids on cards at their funeral services. On the back of the card they had poems or wrote things about their children. I think that is so sweet and nice.  We all went around in a circle and said something about our children. Of course, Carol had to tell me to go first.  She said we were not supposed to release our balloons until everyone spoke and then we would all release them together! I spoke first and I talked about this being the 18th year that we lost Amy and how upsetting and sad it was because she now is dead as long as she got to live and that is so heartbreaking for us. Then I just immediately let go of my balloon and said, I forgot to wait!!!  We all watched Amy's balloon until we couldn't see it anymore. She lead the way! Others think that bereaved parents eventually get over it.We pretend we are OK but there is NOT a second that we don't miss our children.  That is NOT true about any of us getting over it, until our dying breath we are still NOT over it.